The Hidden Grief of Losing Independence
- Neev Shah
- 2 hours ago
- 3 min read
Imagine that one day, you wake up and realize you can’t drive to the store anymore, cook for yourself, or even take a walk on your own. For many older adults, this can be their daily reality.
For many seniors, independence isn’t about the capability to do daily tasks but is a core part of their identity. When conditions such as arthritis, osteoporosis, or frailty impede their capacity to complete daily tasks, seniors lose their sense of self. Their feelings of valuedness diminish as they themselves start to drift away from the person they used to be. It’s not only mobility that slips away, but also their pride, routine, and independence.
This loss of self in seniors is widespread but rarely talked about. It is a ubiquitous grief that is unspoken of, subtle yet impactful.
The world’s population is aging rapidly. In 2020, 1 billion people in the world were aged 60 years or over. That figure will rise to 1.4 billion by 2030, thus one in six people globally would be 60 or above. By 2050, the number of people aged 60 and over will have doubled to reach 2.1 billion (World Health Organization). While most seniors have good health, many are at risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety disorders. It has been shown that around 14% of adults aged 60 and over are experiencing a mental disorder. For example, in Singapore, around 20% of people aged 75+ exhibit signs of depression with those living alone being twice as likely to feel depressed (National University of Singapore). And despite this, only 12% of those affected actually seek help, while 75% don’t even consider themselves to be experiencing an issue.
Research has proven that the inability to complete tasks such as eating, dressing, and bathing independently leads to a detriment in the mental health of older folks. This loss of independence correlates with a 3–4 point drop in mental well-being, as measured by the Mental Component Summary (MCS) score among Medicare recipients (Albanese et al.).
Social isolation goes beyond just loneliness; it is a significant health risk. In the United States, 24% of older adults experience social isolation, while 43% admit to feeling lonely (NCBI). The effects are dire as well as isolation increases the likelihood of developing dementia by 50%, stroke by 32%, and heart disease by 29%. An analysis indicated that socially isolated seniors face a 35% greater risk of premature death (Agni Nakou et al.).
A term study involving 1,600 older adults showed that loneliness led to a decline in daily functioning and a 45% increased risk of mortality over six years (Perissinotto et al.). In summary, the sadness from lost independence not only takes a toll on the heart, but it also quietly reduces health and longevity.
As independence reduces, social engagement, emotional strength, and feeling of being valued start disappearing slowly. The loss of mobility is linked to a higher chance of falls and can cause further physical and emotional decline. It's a downward trend: reduced movement and dwindling confidence lead to increased isolation, and a heavier emotional burden. Unlike physical injuries, which are seen and treated, these mental struggles are often unseen, but their pain is strongly felt. Depression, loneliness, and a loss of independence create a silent but impactful amalgamation of conditions that can eat away at self-esteem without any visible signs.
Losing independence isn't only about reducing independence; it's also about pieces of our elders’ identities slowly fading. Acknowledging that grief and showing our support and empathy is one of the best gifts we can offer to our elders. It's not about fixing the loss but rather respecting our elders, and helping their sense of self come back.
Written By Neev Shah
Works Cited
Agni Nakou, et al. “Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Living Alone: A Comprehensive Systematic Review, Meta-Analysis, and Meta-Regression of Mortality Risks in Older Adults.” Aging Clinical and Experimental Research, vol. 37, no. 1, 21 Jan. 2025, https://doi.org/10.1007/s40520-024-02925-1.
Albanese, Anita M., et al. “Associations between Activities of Daily Living Independence and Mental Health Status among Medicare Managed Care Patients.” Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, vol. 68, no. 6, 2020, pp. 1301–1306, https://doi.org/10.1111/jgs.16423.
National University of Singapore. “Do Not Neglect Elderly Depression.” Nus.edu.sg, 23 Apr. 2018, medicine.nus.edu.sg/news/do-not-neglect-elderly-depression/? Accessed 24 Aug. 2025.
NCBI. Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System. Www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, National Academies Press (US), 27 Feb. 2020, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557972/.
Perissinotto, Carla M., et al. “Loneliness in Older Persons: A Predictor of Functional Decline and Death.” Archives of Internal Medicine, vol. 172, no. 14, 23 July 2012,
World Health Organization. “Mental Health of Older Adults.” Who.int, World Health Organization: WHO, 20 Oct. 2023, www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-of-older-adults?
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